THE BOOK THAT STRIKES AT THE ROOT OF EVIL'S MALICE
Compiled, Arranged, and Written by
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JOSEPH SGUIGNA researched the subject of evil in relation to psychopathy for sixteen
years, and his book Of Pathics and Evil: A Philosophy Against Malice, is the culmination
of that research. Mr. Sguigna's insightful approach to the subject of psychopathy differs
from all other books on the subject from four standpoints: (1) it is a compilation of per-
sonal accounts from psychopaths themselves and from their victims; (2) he has cleared
up the frustrating problem of distinguishing the differences between the psychopath, the
sociopath, the narcissist, and the psychotic; (3) he has consolidated these four terms un-
der the inclusive term, "pathics"; (4) he has brought to the foreground an awareness of
pathic behavior in both women and children, which has been mostly in the background
of (psycho)pathic studies; and (5) he explores the phenomenon of the pathic character
in relation to human evil through an extensive compilation of quotations by eminent
persons on the subject of evil as inherent to human nature.
It is a fascinating, wrenching study of both evil and pathics as it weaves in and out of the
variations of pathic behavior. He saves the reader from sinking into despair on reading
these graphic accounts by offering a philosophy against malice derived from personal
experience, extensive study, and intuitive insight.
Readers will emerge from this book the wiser for it, with a deep and incisive understand-
ingof both evil and pathic behavior that will assist them in recognizing, and protecting
themselves from, the predators that invade their lives. The author's philosophy against
malice inherent in the book, serves as a clarion call to all readers that there must be an
ascendancy of justice and wisdom to replace injustice and ignorance. For truly has Of
Pathics and Evil highlighted Thoreau's statement, "For every thousand people hacking
at the branches of evil, there is one person striking at its root."
Joseph Sguigna is a writer of philosophic wisdom and co-creator with his wife, Sharon,
of a successful critical-creative thinking curriculum, Studies in Meaning. He was edu-
cated in philosophy at UCLA and CAL State University and lives in Redondo Beach,
California, with his family.
FIRST TWO REVIEWS
Workplace Bullying Institute: http://www.workplacebullying.org/2009/06/01/barbaric/
1. Charles Page says:
June 2, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I found the book, OF PATHICS AND EVIL, http://www.ofpathicsandevil.net to be a great and enjoyable resource for understanding the kinds of bullying behaviors I've had to endure. You'll find there the general categories of pathics: NARCIPATHS – do evil (deliberate harm)primarily for the sake of self-aggrandizement, SOCIOPATHS – do evil primarily for the sake of dominance over others, and PSYCHO- PATHS-do evil primarily for the sake of malice, the pleasure derived from inflicting suffering upon others. All the bullies and abusers I've had the misfortune to know, and all of the bully enablers and apologists have epitomized these kinds of pathic behaviors.
2. garynamie says:
June 3, 2009 at 10:26 am
I like the typology, drawing fine distinctions within the general class of evil acts. Good resource.
Gary Namie [Ph.D., Social Psychology, author, and co-founder of the Workplace Bullying Institute]
"Beware of the false teachers, who come disguised as harmless sheep,
but are wolves and will tear you apart"
- New Testament, Matthew, xiii, 57
OF PATHICS AND EVIL
A Philosophy Against Malice
Compiled, Edited and Written
The following Excerpts comprise one, two, or a few passages of each chapter of the book.
The individual has manifold shadows, all of which resemble him, and from
time to time have equal claim to be the man himself.
A Pathic: Someone who charms you at first then harms you at last.
A Pathic: Someone who breaks down your self-respect, your self-worth, your self-identity.
A Pathic: Someone who continuously abuses you verbally, emotionally, physically.
A Pathic: Someone who continuously lies, cheats and harms to get what he/she wants.
A Pathic: Someone who would kill if it came to that.
A Pathic: Someone who is primarily either a psychopath, a sociopath, or a narcipath.
HAS THERE BEEN A PATHIC IN YOUR LIFE?
IS THERE ONE NOW?
If so, you can do something significant about it. You can free yourself from their present and past oppressions.
For this freedom to come about, (1) You must be able to distinguish the differences between the psy- chopath, the sociopath, and the narcipath. (2) You must come to understand, not only pathics, but yourself in relation to them; an understanding which happens through reading, reflecting, and discus- sing. (3) You must come to realize that, as humans, we all have our own dark side, more or less; and that in contrast to our dark side we also have our light side – our transcendence.
Armed with this understanding, you will then be in a strategic position to free yourself from them permanently, and to recognize them for what they are, and to free yourself personally from them.
For many years, both my wife and I have studied thoroughly this corrosive pathic phenomenon psy- chologically, philosophically, and spiritually; and accordingly, we have compiled into this distinctive book, Of Pathics and Evil, real life accounts from victims; as well as revelations from the predators themselves; and have analyzed these pathic persons in relation to human evil and good.
The contents of this book will surely provide an awakening awareness of the mindset and behavior of these pathics as how they intertwine their lives into our lives.
PART ONE: Perspectives of Human Evil
Chapter 1 A Preliminary 1
Chapter 2 The Pathics 9
Chapter 3 The Evil in Human Nature 16
Chapter 4 Pathics As Evil 82
PART TWO: Profiles of the Pathic Individual
Chapter 5 The Pathics: In Their Own Words 90
Chapter 6 The Victims: Descriptions of Pathics 109
Chapter 7 The Authorities: An Overview of Pathics 122
Chapter 8 Nature and/or Nurture 152
PART THREE: Pathics In Relationships
Chapter 9 Gender and Age Distinctions 166
Chapter 10 Codependents 241
Chapter 11 Sex 257
Chapter 12 Religion 290
Chapter 13 In the Workplace 301
Chapter 14 Traumatic Effects on Pathics' Victims 346
PART FOUR: Against Evil
Chapter 15 Against Evil in General 382
Chapter 16 Against Pathics in Particular 395
PART FIVE: Toward the Ascendancy of Justice and Wisdom
Chapter 17 A Philosophy against Malice: Auroralism 410
Chapter 18 Hard Natures in Contrast to Soft Natures 413
Chapter 19 That Good May Prevail over Evil 428
Chapter 20 The Play's the Thing 443
BOOK PURCHASE INFORMATION
My purpose in composing this book is twofold: (1) for it to serve as an introductory manifesto for those individuals who aspire to do good for others, or for mankind, and (2) to serve as an introductory guide for those who aspire to be good to themselves by preserving their self-identity and personal integrity.
So this book is the natural companion to my accompanying book, Human-Transcendence: A Love-Wisdom. The former book is the dark in/of us, the latter book, the light in/of us.
The personal accounts of these passages are mainly from internet forums; and I am endlessly grateful for each person’s story, which, without these forums, this book could not have been compiled. These individuals have contributed immeasurably to the ongoing understanding of the pathic personality.
To keep the authenticity of the personal accounts in this book, I have retained each person’s natural way of writing with their often nonstandard words, spellings and usages – for example: “gonna,” “for the helluvit,” “sooooo seductive,” etc.; as well as, idiosyncratic words, such as “creepazoids” I retained their use of capital letters for emphasis, since their accounts on these internet forums were written in plain text, which, do not include bolding, italics, underlining, and the like (HTML). Also, since many of these accounts are from England, I retained their standard spellings of such words as, “behaviour” (behavior), “cant” (can’t), “favour” (favor) “realise” (realize), etc. I do change punctuation marks, so that their sentence arrangement make sense.
The following abbreviations are used by the personal accounts in this book.
N - Narcissist
S - sociopath
P - Psychopath
NP - Narcissistic Psychopath
NS – Narcissistic supply
NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder
PA - Passive Aggressive
NS - Narcissistic Supply (attention, admiration, etc.)
APD - Antisocial Personality Disorder
BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder
"To defeat them, first we must understand them"
- Elie Wiesel
"The world is all the richer for having a devil in it; so long as we keep our foot upon his neck."
- William James
Perspectives of Human Evil
[Those who use and abuse others primarily for the sake of harming them]
1. “It's heart-sickening how ignorant most therapists are when it comes to psychopathy. Excuse me. Antisocial Personality Disorder. Let's be politically correct, here.
“The last therapist I saw with my psychopath husband did not see ASPD at all in him. He dropped out of the `therapy' after he had thoroughly conned her. This therapist knew he had beaten me, threatened my life, slept with my friends, had affairs with teenagers, peeped, exposed, lied, stolen, abused his positions, turned my community against me; he had admitted to all of this. She also knew he had been accused by some children of molesting them, which he had not denied. He had told her if he did it, he didn't remember. She also knew he probably had molested his own children. She said to me, 'You think he has ASPD. I don't see that.'
“I said, 'Why not?'
“She said, 'Where is the antisocial behavior? What crimes has he committed?'
“I guess she meant he had no criminal record. Therefore he didn't have ASPD. Most people, including most therapists have a cardboard insightless image of a psychopath. They wouldn't know a psychopath if one hit them over the head with a two-by-four. ...
... [1 more entry ]
[Those who use and abuse others primarily to their advantage through manipulative control]
1. In my case [my] husband of 12 years, is not exactly malicious. He doesn't set out to hurt me just for kicks, in my opinion. He hurts me as little or as much as it takes to achieve his goal: to make me dependant on him in as many ways, obey him, give him all the [attention, admiration, etc.]. He de- mands that I abdicate control. So, while his primary goal isn't to hurt me, it becomes a goal if that's what it takes to get [attention, admiration, etc.] out of me. ...”
... [1 more entry ]
The Narcipath (a variation of 'narcissist')
[Those who use and abuse others primarily to their advantage for the sake of self-aggrandizement]
1. “My ex girlfriend said I was perfect. She made me feel so special and I tried so hard to make her feel loved. After the first year, nothing was ever good enough. On every holiday, she found a way to cheapen the experience and say it was my fault. It was like looking into the abyss. She did the most horrible things to me to make me feel like garbage. When she left me, she just acted like everything I did was nothing to her. It was my fault because she wants a man who will give her 80% of their time to nurture her needs while giving 20% in return, because she said she deserves it, and intends to have it. Her lies were unnecessary and she never seemed to be able to have an in-depth conversa- tion about much of anything. I miss the person she claimed to be. The facade was ...
... [passage 2]
[by the Author]
Psychopaths do us harm. Sociopaths also do us harm. Narcissists, too, do us harm. Each harms ac-
cording to his/her own propensities. Psychopaths will do us harm primarily for the sake of harm. Sociopaths will do us harm primarily for the sake of manipulative-dominance. Narcissists will do us harm primarily for the sake of self-aggrandizement. However they may differ in their approach to harming others, they will do so both covertly and overtly.
The terms, psychopath, sociopath, and narcissist are commonly interchanged, and so can be con-
fusing as to the degree and fashion [type] of harm perpetrated by these individuals. Accordingly, in order to resolve this confusion, we have coined a comprehensive term that includes all three terms. The term “pathic” is this comprehensive term that includes the sociopath, the psychopath, and the narcissist. This word `narcissist' will be modified to narcipath – I modify the term, “narcissist” to “narcipath” so that the suffix, “path,” is consistent with the other two terms, as well as to avoid the various connotations, favorable and otherwise, of the term “narcissist.”
One other term included with these three, is what I term “psychoticpath” which refers to the abnorm- ality of blood-lust as an habitual frame of mind. Because of its rarity in human behavior, it will not be discussed overall, but will have its own chapter.
The term “pathic” is derived from the suffix, path, signifying 'disease-producing,' 'suffering'. It is this etymological root of the term 'pathic' which gives these three types of harmful individuals, each in his own way, their commonality: that they cause disease (the breaking down of physical and/or psycho- logical health) and suffering. The common term, 'narcissist', therefore, will simply be renamed `narcipath' so that they all belong to the same.
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THE EVIL IN HUMAN NATURE
Since the doings of pathics are universally destructive to the well-being of others; and since evil is considered a destructive force, it is understood that pathic behavior is conconsidered a form of evil. Malice is the overall term that applies to this form of hu- man evil. So, we can say of a pathic (person) that he or she is evil in general, and mali- cious in particular.
It is not very likely that a good person could ever be a malicious person; but he might very well act maliciously under extreme circumstances, such as revenge or self-defense or self-preservation or jealousy (the "green-eyed monster”). In which case, malice, or evil, is inherent to even the good or moral, person. Which extreme causes this evil in a basically good or moral person, depends on the person and his particular physical and psychological threshold of pain ensuing from fear, anxiety, terror, rejec- tion, abuse, starvation, imprisonment, and the like.
Furthermore, if we consider human nature from an ethical perspective, we could classify people as either basically moral (concerned with what is right and good), or basically immoral (opposed to what is right and good) or basically amoral (indifferent to what is right or good). And, as mentioned, if even a good, moral, person could act maliciously in the extreme, then certainly, even moreso, could the amoral and immoral person.
From this brief analysis, it is pretty much a foregone conclusion that evil is an inherent human trait relative to a person's individual nature, or temperament, or constitution, however buried in his/her unconscious “id” of human nature.
To support this view, I offer a wide selection of quotations from eminent persons from all times and all places. My threefold purpose in including these quotations is (1) as I mentioned, to support the view that evil, relatively speaking, is as much a part of our common human nature as is good; and (2) to better prepare the reader's under- standing and open-mindedness to not judge the pathics in these readings as an anomaly, or “sickness” of human nature; but to view them as an opposition to human welfare and well-being; and so, accordingly, to protect ourselves from them the best we can; and (3) to understand more fully the nature of human evil in general, and the pathics as evil in particular.
The following quotation from a contemporary theater critic, Charles McNulty, places the inevitability of strife, for good and for evil, in human affairs simply by an innate propensity to dominate, or be dominated: “The urge to dominate is fundamental to our territorial natures. We know we're not safe, and our canine vigilance readies us to attack and defend.”
A Contemporary Perspective
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF EVIL
Devils, Demons, and the Daimonic
Selection from Anger, Madness, and the Daimonic: The Psychological Genesis of Violence, Evil, and Creativity, Stephen A. Diamond, Ph. D.
Hostility, hatred, and violence are the greatest evils we have to contend with today. Evil is now – ever has been, and ever will be – an existential reality, an inescapable fact with which we mortals must reckon. In virtually every culture there has existed some word for evil, a universal, linguistic acknowl- edgment of the archetypal presence of “something that brings sorrow, distress, or calamity...; the fact of suffering, misfortune, and wrongdoing.” Yet another of Webster's traditional definitions links the English word evil with all that is “angry… wrathful...[and] malignant.” The term evil has always been closely associated with anger, rage, and, of course, violence. But today we seem uncomfortable with this antiquated concept. Our discomfort resides largely in the religious and theological implications of evil, based on values, ethics, and morals that many today find judgmental, dogmatic, and passé. In a secular society like ours, we Americans have tended to avoid biblical characterizations such as “sin,” “wickedness," “iniquity,” and “evil.” Nevertheless, as Jungian analyst Liliane Frey-Rohn rightly remarks: “Evil is a phenomenon that exists and has always existed only in the human world. Animals ...
An Historical Perspective
We are no more responsible for the evil thoughts that pass through our minds than a scarecrow for the birds which fly over the seed plot he has to guard. The sole responsibility in each case is to prevent them from settling.
1. Intellectual appreciation does not amount to so much, it's what you thrill to. And if murder, suicide, rape is what you thrill to, and nothing else, then it's your destiny – you can't change it mentally. You live by what you thrill to, and there's the end of it. Still, for all that, it's a perverse courage which makes the man accept the slow suicide of inertia and sterility: the perverseness of a perverse child. – It's amazing how men are like that.
2. This is the very worst wickedness, that we refuse to acknowledge the passionate evil that is in us. This makes us secret and rotten.
George Bernard Shaw
1. When it comes to the point, really bad men are just as rare as really good ones.
2. It is easy – terribly easy – to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that to break a man's spirit is devil's work.
There is no explanation for evil. It must be looked upon as a necessary part of the order of the universe. To ignore it is childish, to bewail it senseless.
... [27 more entries]
Oh, man! thou feeble tenant of an hour,
Debased by slavery, or corrupt by power,
Who knows thee well must quit thee with disgust,
Degraded mass of animated dust!
Thy love is lust, thy friendship all a cheat,
Thy smiles hypocrisy, thy words deceit!
By nature vile, ennobled but by name,
Each kindred brute might bid thee blush for shame.
Calm, thinking villains, whom no faith could fix,
Of crooked counsels and dark politics.
Destroy his fib, or sophistry – in vain!
The creature's at his dirty work again.
1. The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
An evil soul producing holy witness
Is like a villain with a smiling cheek,
A goodly apple rotten at the heart.
O what a goodly outside falsehood hath.
... [6 more entries]
She has a nature so malign and evil that she never sates her greedy will, and after food is hungrier than before.
PHILOSOPHERS / SAGES
1. The evil implanted in man by nature spreads so imperceptibly, when the habit of wrong-doing is unchecked, that he himself can set no limit to his shamelessness.
2. Evil is nourished and grows by concealment.
Man is at bottom a wild and terrible animal. We know him only as what we call civilization has tamed and trained him; hence we are alarmed by the occasional breaking out of his true nature. But whenever the locks and chains of law and order are cast off, and anarchy comes in, he shows himself for what he really is.
1. To fight is a radical instinct; if men have nothing else to fight over they will fight over words, fancies, or women, or they will fight because they dislike each other's looks, or because they have met walking in opposite directions. To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight to the blood. To fight for a reason and in a calculating spirit is something your true warrior despises.
2. All men are born with a sufficient violent liking for domination, wealth, and pleasure, and with a strong taste for idleness; consequently, ....
... [32 more entries]
1. It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster; and each individual is only one tiny cell in the monster's body, so that for better or worse he must accompany it on its bloody rampages and even assist it to the utmost. Having a dark suspicion of these grim possibilities, man turns a blind eye to the shadow-side of human nature. Blindly he strives ...
1. I will say nothing of how you may appear in your own eyes, but have you met with so much good- will in your superiors and rivals, so much chivalry in your enemies and so little envy amongst your acquaintances, that you feel it incumbent on you to protest against the idea of the part played by egoistic baseness in human nature? Do you not know how uncontrolled and unreliable the average human being is in all that concerns sexual life? Or are you ignorant of the fact that all the excesses and aberrations of which we dream at night are crimes actually committed every day by men who are wide awake? What does psychoanalysis do in this connection but confirm the old saying of Plato that the good are those who content themselves with dreaming of what others, the wicked, actually do...
... [6 more entries]
From THE BIBLE
For those who the Bible is the first and last word of our humanity and spirituuality, will find in the following passages that not only has God created the world, “and saw that it was good”; but has included human evil in that process – “I make peace, and create evil.” It is not the work of Satan, or some Evil force or alien entity, or whatever else; unless these concepts serve as metaphors that apply meaning and myth to what we cannot understand about the nature of evil. So, according to the Bible and God, it looks like we are stuck with evil regardless of the endlessly vast chaos and suffering it engenders in and against life.
From THE OLD TESTAMENT
from Lamentations 3:38
1. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. (Isaiah 45:7, KJV) Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it? (Amos 3:6, KJV) Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good?
2. Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come? (Lamentations 3:38, NIV) Is it not from the mouth of the Most High That both good and ill go forth? (Lamentations 3:38, NASB)
1. Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; who substitute bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and clever in their own sight!
from THE NEW TESTAMENT
1. “Beware of false teachers who come disguised as harmless sheep, but are wolves and will tear you apart. You can detect them by the way they act, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit. You need never confuse grapevines with thorn bushes or figs with thistles. Different kinds of fruit trees can quickly be identified by examining their fruit. A variety that produces delicious fruit never produces an inedible kind. And a tree producing an inedible kind can't produce what is good. So the trees having the inedible fruit are chopped down and thrown on the fire. Yes, the way to identify a tree or a person is by the kind of fruit produced.'” (Matthew 7:15-23)
3. “It is what comes out of a person that defiles. For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” (Mark 7:20-23)
And if you are sure that you are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, a corrector of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth, you, then, that teach others, will you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You that forbid adultery, do you commit adultery? You that abhor idols, do you rob temples? You that boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law?
Variations of Evil
The following sections: “The Aesthetics of Evil,” “The Degradation of Evil,” “The Culture of Evil, “The Egoism of Evil,” “The Politics of Evil,” present evil in its various aspects besides its obvious destructiveness in human affairs .
THE AESTHETICS OF EVIL
1. Repudiating the virtues of your world, criminals hopelessly agree to organize a forbidden universe. They agree to live in it. The air there is nauseating: they can breathe it.
2. Crimes of which a people is ashamed constitute its real history. The same is true of man.
3. We know that their adventures are childish. They themselves are fools. They are ready to kill or be killed over a card-game in which an opponent – or they themselves – was cheating. Yet, thanks to such fellows, tragedies are possible.
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THE DEGRADATION OF EVIL
1. Wolves which batten upon lambs, lambs consumed by wolves, the strong who immolate the weak, the weak victims of the strong: there you have Nature, there you have her intentions, ...
2. Get it into your head once and for all, my simple and very fainthearted fellow, that what fools call humanness is nothing but a weakness ...
3. All, all is theft, all is unceasing and rigorous competition in nature; the desire to make off with the substance of others is the ... foremost
... [17 more entries]
THE CULTURE OF EVIL
1. One of the most notable traits of the Mexican's character is his willingness to contemplate horror: he is even familiar and complacent in his dealings with it. The bloody Christs in our village churches, the macabre humor in some of our newspaper headlines, our wakes, the custom of eating skull-shaped cakes and candies on the Day of the Dead, are habits inherited from the Indians and the Spaniards and are now an inseparable part of our being. Our cult of death is also a cult of life, in the same way that love is a hunger for life and a longing for death. Our fondness for self-destruction derives not only from our masochistic tendencies but also from a certain variety of religious emotion.
We are nihilists – except that our nihilism is not intellectual but instinctive, and therefore irrefutable. … We believe that sin and death constitute the ultimate basis of human nature.
2. The North American system only wants to consider the positive aspects of reality. Men and women are subjected from childhood to an inexorable process of adaptation; certain principles, contained in brief formulas, are endlessly repeated by the press, the radio, the churches and the schools, and by those kindly, sinister beings, the North American mothers and wives.
A person imprisoned by these schemes is like a plant in a flowerpot too small for it: he cannot grow or mature. This sort of conspiracy cannot help but provoke ...
... [7 more entries]
THE POLITICS OF EVIL
1. Whoever desires to found a state and give it laws, must start with assuming that all men are bad and ever ready to display their vicious nature, whenever they may find occasion for it.
... [21 more entries]
THE EGOISM OF EVIL
1. We behave politely to be treated politely, and to be considered polite.
2. Pity is often a way of feeling our own misfortunes in those of other people; it is a clever foretaste of....
3. We make promises to the extent that we hope, and keep them to the extent that we fear.
... [61 more entries]
PATHICS AS EVIL
From Personal Accounts
From the following personal accounts it is clear that pathics are emissaries of evil; who are wired neurologically, chemically, and psychologically to oppose, offset, upset, agitate in the extreme, the moral and social order that prevails in any given situation; yet perhaps not so clear that without such pathics, our humanity would fall into a debilitating stagnation of listless automatism.
And you might protest: “But these pathics cause so much unjustifiable suffering to countless innocent victims. Wouldn't life be so much better without them; and why would such a life be a debilitating stagnation of our humanity?” And I reply, Theoretically, ideally, life would be much better without them; but then, there would remain only the good and loving with no opposition whatsoever: a utopian world. All would be well and good. But, all would not – could not – be well and good simply from the living realities of pain and pleasure, wants and needs, self-consciousness; or of sexual selection that spawns rivalry, jealousy, lust, etc.; or of physical and mental variations that spawn competition, aggression, moods, etc.; or of fatigue, of disease and aging that spawn fear of our mortality and the situations goes on and on.
All these living realities that we are faced with, are inescapably part and parcel of our human condition. Hence there can be no one-sided perspective of human nature. Strife comes with love; that is to say ...
So the ever-repeating mantras of “peace on earth,” and “universal brotherhood,” are no less than illusions – often becoming a delusions – so long as ... .”
Hence, the fight, the struggle, one against the other goes on without stop; yet what could very well change for the better is for the good (justice and wisdom) to one day take the ascendancy over the bad (injustice and ignorance). Then we will have a “brave new world” to look forward to; for then we will have fought the good fight.
1. “And the reptilian stare of those eyes. You cannot escape the uniqueness of that stare, no matter what the color. Once you've seen it, you'll never forget it. ... how they drill into you, draw you in and capture you.”
2. “Also what I have observed is the truly evil end of the spectrum both in human and animal is always displayed in those deep dark hole for eyes. Can that be the easiest clue to tune into?”
3. “This evil seeks and finds anything and everything that is sacred, special, or cherished and seeks not only to destroy it; but to do so in the most agonizing, never-ending, worst way imaginable.
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Profiles of the Pathic Character
THE PATHICS: IN THEIR OWN WORDS
1. “I'm right back at the center of attention – where I belong!”
2. “It's all about me now. I don't care about you or what the kids want or what they need.”
3. “I don't care if you have been sitting in traffic all this time because of a wreck on the Interstate! I have been sitting here waiting for you for 2 hrs! You have no regard for ME!
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1. “I don't get mad, I get even. I am the Master Manipulator.”
2. “I'm a taker not a giver.”
3. “I tell you things on a need-to-know basis. If I think you need to know, I'll tell you."
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1. “I will kill you if it takes me 20 years. When you least expect it.”
2. “I'd like to beat the sh**t out of you!”
3. “I just have this sudden urge to punch you right in the face.”
4. “The BEST time to kick a man is WHEN he's down!”
5. I asked why he was being so verbally abusive. His response was “Because I can!” Didn't that say it all?
6. “Do whatever you want to do to whomever you want to do it. Just don't leave any bruises.”
7. “I can only hurt you as much as you allow me to.”
8. He told me, “It is like when you put an animal in a cage, I like to poke at you, because I like to watch you get mad,”
... [26 more entries]
"Paxton was killed because of an irresistible compulsion that has taken over my life, I knew when I left my house that day that someone would die. ... This compulsion started with just thoughts about murder and progressed from thoughts to action. I've thought about getting professional help but how can I ever approach a mental-health professional? I just can't blurt out in an interview that I've killed people (Paxton was not the only one). Technically I meet the definition of a serial killer (three or more victims with a cooling-off period in between) but I'm an average-looking person with a family, job, and home just like yourself."
1. "I did this not as a sex act ... but out of hate for her. I don't mean out of hate for her in particular, really I mean out of hate for a woman."
2. "It wasn't as dark and scary as it sounds. I had a lot of fun ... killing somebody's a funny experience."
... [33 more entries]
1. "That is my ambition, to have killed more people – more helpless people – than any man or woman who has ever lived."
2. "I carried it too far, that's for sure."
1. "They say it's the number of people I killed, I say it's the principle."
2. "To me, this world is nothing but evil, and my own evil just happened to come out because of the circumstances of what I was doing."
... [4 more entries]
THE VICTIMS: PATHIC DESCRIPTIONS
The following quotation fragments are further indications as to whether who is being referred to is either a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. Because of the current confusion between the three terms among people, these persons use the three terms indiscriminately because each category has shared traits, such as lack of conscience and remorse, lying, irresponsibility, etc. More information is needed to derive a full picture of which he or she is according to our grouping. Accordingly I will group these passages with this in mind. In keeping with each writer's contribution, Narcissists are abbreviated as N; sociopaths are abbreviated as S; and psychopaths are abbreviated as P.
1. “You say your guy might actually be an NPD [narcissist personality disorder]. Sometimes I don't think there's a dime's worth of difference between the P and the N. So if he is violent, unpredictable and a chronic liar he's more likely to be a P; more needy of admiration, more likely to be an N. In most other respects they are quite similar.”
2. “Of course, as normal human beings, we search inside ourselves for answers. That is precisely what the N never does. If he did, he would go for therapy forthwith. It is natural to wonder how we could be fooled so easily and so ruthlessly. Ever watch sleight of hand? Well, it is the same. You are fooled by the speed and skill of the 'magician' or the card sharp. But, and this is the 'but', it is only an illusion.”
... [105 more entries]
74. “I am obsessed beyond normal ... almost envious of their 'super powers'. How do I wean myself away from this evil fixation?”
... [4 more entries]
AN OVERVIEW OF PATHICS
The three selections in this chapter professionally substantiate the insights, descriptions, and experiences of the nonprofessional contributors (mostly victims of pathics) to this book. Section 1 includes Dr. Robert Hare's noted 20-item checklist that is used extensively in psychopathic literature and therapy. Section 2, includes pertinent passages on psychopathic descriptions from Dr. Hervey Cleckley's seminal masterwork, The Mask of Sanity. Section 3 includes recent findings of psychopathy by Dr. Kent Kiehl, one of the world's leading younger investigators in psychopathy.
Hare's PCL-R 20-item Checklist
Hare's PCL-R 20-item checklist is based on Cleckley's 16-item checklist.
1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM – the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
... [18 more entries]
From Mask of Sanity
by Hervey Cleckley
More often than not, the typical psychopath will seem particularly agreeable and make a distinctly positive impression when he is first encountered. Alert and friendly in his attitude, he is easy to talk with and seems to have a good many genuine interests. There is nothing at all odd or queer about him, and in every respect he tends to embody the concept of a well-adjusted, happy person. Nor does he, on the other hand, seem to be artificially exerting himself like one who is covering up or who wants to sell you a bill of goods. He would seldom be confused with the professional back-slapper or someone who is trying to ingratiate himself for a concealed purpose. Signs of affectation or excessive affability are not characteristic. He looks like the real thing. ...
... [53 more entries]
Selections from The Search for the Roots of Psychopathy. by John Seabrook, The New Yorker, November 10, 2008
At thirty-eight, [Dr. Kent] Kiehl, is one of the world's leading younger investigators in psychopathy, the condition of moral emptiness that affects between fifteen to twenty-five per cent of the North American prison population, and is believed by some psychologists to exist in one per cent of the general adult male population. (Female psychopaths are thought to be much rarer.) Psychopaths don't exhibit the manias, hysterias, and neuroses that are present in other types of mental illness. Their main defect, what psychologists call "severe emotional detachment" – a total lack of empathy and remorse – is concealed, and harder to describe than the symptoms of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. This absence of easily readable signs has led to debate among mental-health practitioners about what qualifies as psychopathy and how to diagnose it. Psychopathy isn't identified as a disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the American Psychiatric Association's canon; instead, a more general term, "antisocial personality disorder," known as A.P.D., covers the condition.
There is also little consensus among researchers about what causes psychopathy. Considerable evidence, including several large-scale studies of twins, points toward a genetic component. Yet psychopaths ...
... [25 more entries]
NATURE AND/OR NURTURE
The following article precedes the nonprofessional perspectives on this controversial topic of nature-or-nurture-or-both. I include it here to set the stage, so to speak, so that the reader will better appreciate a layman's views.
From: The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatrist: by Dr Essi Viding, from the Medical Research Council's Social, Genetic and Developmental Psychiatry Centre at the Institute of Psychiatry, King's College, London
PSYCHOPATHS are born anti-social, not corrupted by bad parenting, scientists reveal today.
A study of twins showed that anti-social behaviour was strongly inherited in children with psychopathic tendencies. In children without psychopathic traits, being anti-social was chiefly the result of environmental factors.
The findings support previous research indicating that children with psychopathic tendencies often ....
Twins are often used by researchers investigating inherited traits. Identical twins share the same genes, and, therefore, the same inherited influences, whereas non-identical twins do not. By com- paring the two groups, it is possible to see if a trait is or is not carried in the genes.
In the new study, ...
A Man's Introduction
“Are these children just born bad? Environment alone cannot explain deranged behavior - too many abused and neglected children grow up to be law-abiding citizens. If there is a genetic explanation, it's a slippery, discreet mutation. We don't see entire families of serial killers. There is no such thing as a “kill gene”, but research is revealing some genetic tendencies to violent behavior. In other words, bad seeds blossom in bad environments.
“The position I favor is that psychopathy emerges from a complex – and poorly understood – interplay between biological factors and social forces. It is based on evidence that genetic factors contribute to the biological bases of ... internal controls and conscience and for making emotional 'connections' with others is greatly reduced....
A Woman's Introduction
“Most parents will tell you that their children exhibit general behaviors very early in their development. Some may be stubborn, others happy, and still others may be grumpy. We see these general emotional responses in infants and can often see a trend by the time the child is only a few months old. Many of these parents will also assert that these responses, or temperaments, seem to continue throughout the child's development.
“The stubborn infant who cries when put down for a nap may become the stubborn adolescent who rebels against authority or resists society's norms. The happy and content infant may be the adult who finds friends easily and has a knack for seeing the good in others. When these temperaments are present shortly after birth and continue throughout a person's life, it is difficult to not see a bio- logical connection.”
TOPIC TITLE: What Are Your Views that Psychopathy Can Be Inherited?
1. “One article I read pointed out that a certain gene combined with a bad environment can bring out this behaviour. If so, how come other siblings with the same genetic makeup or biology and environ- ment do not have the P's [psychopath's] traits? The other question is this then, why is it that some of these Ps come from really good homes?”
... [42 more entries]
Pathics In Relationships
GENDER AND AGE DISTINCTIONS
Red Flags / Clues of Narcissism:
1) Catching them in lies or inconsistencies – yet we behave as if nothing happened, rather than questioning this behavior.
2) When your date bowls you over with romantic novel-type conversation, telling you how incredibly special/wonderful/sexy/ etc. you are.... and leads up to making you feel like you are THE most magnificent person in the world - practically overnight ... without even really knowing you yet.
3) When your date has horrible awful negative things to say about others – ex's/co-workers/friends/family etc., as if there is no grey zone about them – just black or white).
4) When you realize that your date takes no blame at all for any of his failed relationships or marriages. He/she was always the victim.
5) When you realize his favorite topic is HIM. And when you veer from that topic, it always comes back to HIM. (or her).
... [16 more entries]
1. “We met on the internet. When I read his profile I remember thinking 'Boy, is this guy a cocky bastard.' He was saying how handsome he was and that he would be a good catch basically. Well, he contacted me first - I almost didn't respond after reading his profile but I did. We talked for about a week on the phone and then ...
... [5 more entries]
1. “In my case [my] husband of 12 years, is not exactly malicious. He doesn't set out to hurt me just for kicks, in my opinion. He hurts me as little or as much as it takes to achieve his goal: to make me dependant on him in as many ways, obey him, give him all the [attention, admiration, etc.] he de- mands, abdicate control. So, while his primary goal isn't to hurt me, it becomes a goal if that's what it takes to get [attention, admiration, etc.] out of me.”
2. “My father was violent, controlling, and childish at home, and a total charmer in public. He was a philanderer, a misogynist, a hater of children and anyone not directly under his control.”
... [8 more entries]
1. “My son is a psychopath. The doctors and psychologists and counselors he's seen since the age of 4 were never able to confirm the diagnosis until he turned 18 – and my research confirms it takes that long. He had been in and out of mental facilities and medicated for many years and when he turned 18 he quit his meds –which didn't work too well by that time. He would whisper to my daughter in her bed at night that he was going to kill her before morning. I took tough love classes and was finally able to put him out of our house – all the locks were changed – we'd been robbed blind and in fact he also broke in and robbed one of my dearest friends who lives on my street. That was over 10 years ago and to this day -- I have little or no contact with any of my neighbors. As time went on he continued to commit crimes but was always able to con his way out. He did do time in jail but always got out early. I always felt that my son wouldn't reach his 30th birthday before something really serious happened - he's soon to be 26.
... [12 more entries]
“In reading some of the literature about psychopathy I've seen statistics that state how the percen- tage of male psychopaths is greater than that of females. I wonder how the studies were done to come up with that information. For example, did they study women prison populations like they did men?”
Women Pathics In General
1. “You should have met this woman. She was the epitome of mother earth tender-hearted gentle wisdom. I just could never understand why the things she said hurt me so much. She was SO sweet! (and she said these things sweetly, with an air of tender mother earth wisdom)”
“You can't evaluate what is going on by the impression people make. You have to look deeper.”
... [6 more entries]
WOMEN PATHICS IN PARTICULAR
1. “My ex girlfriend said I was perfect. She made me feel so special and I tried so hard to make her feel loved. After the first year, nothing was ever good enough. On every holiday, she found a way to cheapen the experience and say it was my fault. It was like looking into the abyss. She did the most horrible things to me to make me feel like garbage. ...
... [5 more entries]
1. “My mother expects constant attention, admiration, my 'dropping everything' to visit her, have her over, etc. whenever she feels like it. When I had my own children, things came to a head because I couldn't take care of my children and her at the same time.”
... [12 more entries]
1. “I married a psychopath and believe me it is not gender-specific. She kicked me repeatedly in the head with her boots on and otherwise displayed all the symptoms of psychopathy. I never touched her yet she assaulted me repeatedly. Yes it really happens. In 9 years of marriage she kissed me briefly 4 times and rarely had sex with me but did with others. I am ashamed to play the victim – I don't like it. This woman was cunning ruthless unfaithful, thieving and a pathological liar. I have a wonderful wife now who actually smiles, kisses me and acts like a human being. She snapped me out of the shocking dependency and gullibility and took me far away. Believe me psychopathic females are very capable of committing atrocities akin to brutal wife beating and spouse abuse. More men than women statis- tically are psychopathic (3% against 1% of women). Let's not make it a gender issue. Females are quite capable of having this severe mental illness.”
... [11 more entries]
1. “Eddie only loves me when he wants to – on his own terms. Once I was stooping over the oven and he ran up behind me full tilt and threw his arms around my legs. He was great at wanting to hug me at very inconvenient times. Well, I practically shot right into the oven. I told my husband, 'This is like Hansel and Gretel and guess who I am! And I don't like the part of being a witch even a little bit!'”
... [25 more entries]
27. “Laurie entered the room and immediately took control, but it was so subtle the doctor didn't recognize it. At first, she hung her head and acted frightened, so when he attempted to coax her out, she pretended to be resistant, bashful, and shy (which she isn't at all).
“Then, after a few minutes, she said that it was easy to talk to him: 'Much better than those doc- tors at school' While the doctor was taking this in, she commented on how pretty the designs on his tie were, and asked to sit on his lap. Then she proceeded to tell him what he wanted to hear, about how she had gotten into some trouble in school, but it was because no one understood her and how it felt real good to be with him…in fact, she asked him if he would be her new daddy! She said all her father ever did was yell at her.
“Afterward, the doctor told me that he had established a perfect rapport with Laurie and that she was a loving child who was just misunderstood! He said we should be giving her more love. I couldn't believe it. Our 8-year-old daughter had conned a psychiatrist.
“[Just three weeks before this `loving child' had poked another little girl's eye out with a pencil at school after she hadn't gotten her way.]”
... [25 more entries]
1. “There are some very few of us who actually seek out relationships with narcissists. We do this with the full knowledge that we are not wanted, despised even. We persist and pursue no matter the consequences, no matter the cost.
“I am an `inverted narcissist'. It is because as a child I was `imprinted/fixated' with a particular pattern involving relationships. I was engulfed so completely by my father's personality and repressed so severely by various other factors in my childhood that I simply didn't develop a recognizable per- sonality. I existed purely as an extension of my father. I was his genius Wunderkind. He ignored my mother and poured all his energy and effort into me. I did not develop full-blown secondary narcis- sism…I developed into the perfect `other half' of the narcissists molding me. I became the perfect, eager co-dependent. And this is an imprint, a pattern in my psyche, a way of (not) relating to the world of relationships by only being able to truly relate to one person (my father) and then one kind of person – the narcissist.
“He is my perfect lover, my perfect mate, a fit that is so slick and smooth, so comfortable and ef- fortless, so filled with meaning and actual feelings – that's the other thing. I cannot feel on my own. I am incomplete. I can only feel when I am engulfed by another (first it was my father) and now – well now it has to be a narcissist. Not just any narcissist either. He must be exceedingly smart, good looking, have adequate reproductive equipment and some knowledge on how to use it and that's about it.
“When I am engulfed by someone like this I feel completed, I can actually FEEL. I am whole again. I function as a sibyl, an oracle, an extension of the narcissist. His fiercest protector, his purveyor/ procurer of [attention, admiration, etc.]; the secretary, organizer, manager, etc.. I think you get the picture and this gives me INTENSE PLEASURE.
“So the answer to your question: 'Why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't want them back?' The short answer is, `Because there is no one else remotely worth looking at.'”
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AN INTRODUCTORY PASSAGE
“The psychopath is a vessel of hate masquerading as a vessel of love. Sex, to him, is a weapon of destruction, a hateful act, a means of penetrating to the victim's innermost being, and doing violence to her soul.
“The victim cannot protect herself because the very nature of sex is surrender, opening the self, and surrendering it to the other.”
1. “All too soon I began to hear about all his past relationships with other women, especially his ex-wife. I never could quite measure up to her. I had to hear about their sex life and how great it was and how good she could cook and how wonderful her children (not his) were and on and on and on. The first really cruel thing he did to me was one afternoon he was going to bed (he worked odd hours) I thought I would slip in beside him thinking it would be nice time for intimacy. Just as I touched him he turned his back and snarled at me to leave him alone. That's pretty much how it was for ten years. He refused to have sex only when he wanted and that was far and few between.”
... [17 more entries]
[Good Guys vs. Bad Guys]
The passages in this chapter are responses on an internet forum which discuss the merits and demerits of the following article:
Bad Guys Really Do Get The Most Girls
18 June 2008, New Scientist.com news service, Mason Inman
NICE guys knew it, now two studies have confirmed it: bad boys get the most girls. The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the "dark triad" persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs.
The traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism. At their extreme, these traits would be highly detrimental for life in traditional human societies. People with these person- alities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators.
But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. “We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy.”
Jonason and his colleagues subjected 200 college students to personality tests designed to rank them for each of the dark triad traits. They also asked about their attitudes to sexual relationships and about their sex lives, including how many partners they'd had and whether they were seeking brief affairs.
“High 'dark triad' scorers are more likely to try to poach other people's partners for a brief affair.”
The study found that those who scored higher on the dark triad personality traits tended to have more partners and more desire for short-term relationships, Jonason reported at the Human Behavior and Evolution Society meeting in Kyoto, Japan, earlier this month. But the correlation only held in males. ...
1. “… It appears that, although you read the article, you haven't ploughed through the hundreds of contributions to this blog (understandably enough!).
“I am still checking out the hundred or so that have appeared on Sunday, but certainly if you HAD done so on Sat. night you'd have found that all but one of the female contributors up 'til then were CONFIRMING this phenomenon of the attraction to bad boys. AND (consistently) coming up with the same rational explanation for it too.
“I fully agree with the rest of your post. But it seems likely that, in order to protect their 'honour' or reputation, most women would hotly deny all this stuff in any situation where they are identifiable (i.e.: in 'normal life').
“But it is very interesting (and instructive) that, when freed from that traditional social constraint by the anonymity of the web, the majority are much more open and honest about their REAL attitudes and motivations.
“Come to think of it, even the one dissenter yesterday wasn't entirely denying the existence of this behaviour; but, as she had posted a link to a blog-site, she may also have been restrained by being more readily 'identifiable' than the others!”
... [31 more entries]
1. “These types of men keep being born in the population obviously because they spread their seed more successfully. But also, I proffer, because their female partners, the women who fall for these men, are also passing on their genes in the process. Mating is a two-way street. I never cease to be exasperated at the stupidity and shallowness of women who are attracted to the 'bad boy' types.
“I also believe that this dark triad is a type of genetic parasitism. I had a flatmate once who fit this triad rather well, and he was an adopted child. He had a marauding, psychopathic and self-centered approach to women and he had no shortage of them. I knew one of his partners too, who was a wild type and very manipulative towards the decent people. Once I pondered what his off- spring would be like, probably without him even being around to see their birth, and how would their genes show through in their behaviour. He turned out the way he did despite being brought up in a decent family, which got me wondering about genetically-endowed behaviour. Then it dawned on me that his off- spring would be just like him if they were male, and like his female 'partner' if they were female. And I realized that his parents must have been the same way too (hence him being given up for adoption by a single mother). He was already an offspring of this 'dark triad' lineage that had been going on for some time, probably for many generations.
“Since those days whenever I'm around a 'bad boy' type I try to find out about his parentage. Very often they come from a line of dark triad types.”
... [21 more entries]
2. “The pastor is ok, but at times I felt odd when I did Bible study with him. I can't explain it. I never told my ex about it because he would not have believed it. He thinks that his church and the pastor are perfect. The entire time that I attended his church (about 4 months) I felt strange. Maybe it is because I am Catholic. It's like they wanted me there but I did not have long hair and I wore makeup and pants. They did not. They tried to tell me that the Bible says women need to dress like them. My ex was always saying that I did not read the Bible right or go to church enough, etc. I think that he uses his strict religious beliefs to make him feel superior to others. He also would treat people mean, have sex with me, take items from work (supplies), and con people. That to me is not Christian. Read- ing the Bible is great, but if you're acting like an ass in your daily life, what's that about.”
... [18 more entries]
IN THE WORKPLACE
The workplace is a hotbed for pathics to manipulate their way to the “top”. All that is needed to secure their position “in the firm” is their particular expertise that contributes to profits. Once entrenched in their position, they can let loose their pathic ways over subordinates with practically full impunity. At bottom they are not so much concerned with the firm as they are with their own self-aggrandizement, with manipulating and dominating, with abuse. The emotional devastation they cause their victims is more than one can imagine.
1. “There are wolverines in organizations who are critical and negative about everything. But they are not in any way trying to improve the organization. Their motive is not even to advance some agenda for personal gain. Their only apparent motive is to destroy what others have/do/achieve.
“They like to tear down, not build. They're more like organizational vandals than anything else. Whatever someone proposes, reports, or achieves, they pick it apart and torpedo it – sometimes very tactfully.”
“To an outsider it can look at first like the need for additional information in order to be convinced or a preliminary analysis prior to giving support. Or it may just seem like being picky about the details. That's the case with some people, but not wolverines.
“Wolverines always find fault, pick things apart, nay-say and criticize without finding anything positive or proposing an alternative. The game is that others hold up ideas, and they shoot them down. And the pattern never really changes. When you see that pattern, you know you're probably dealing with a wolverine.
“Such folks are largely guided by their own chronic envy. They deeply resent others' positive ideas and achievements because, in their pathological narcissism, they see those as assaults on their own fragile self-esteem. They gain stature in their own eyes only by reducing the stature of others. What they don't have, others can't either.”
... [31 more entries]
IN THE CLASSROOM
34. “My youngest son is very sensitive and he cannot cope at school at all, he is on Distant Education at the moment on psychological and medical grounds. It's not just when he is bullied and/or treated unfairly that is the problem, but also when other children are targeted – he cares so much. He found school so stressful and depressing, he became sick. He says that the teachers do nothing and many are psychological bullies especially to the students that they don't particularly like. There is a lot of favoritism and discrimination going on. Students with ADHD and the like are targeted as are those of certain ethnic backgrounds. Children like mine who stand up for themselves and publicly complain, even though they know that they will be victimized and bullied for it, and who cannot sit back and do nothing are also targeted. My children have been to 5 different schools and the younger one says that it isn't getting better - it is getting markedly worse.”
... [117 more entries]
TRAUMATIC EFFECTS ON PATHICS' VICTIMS
This chapter focuses in on the physical, mental, and emotional trauma that pathics cause their victims; which justify the stigma `pathic' applied to their type. They are
like a deadly virus infecting everyone vulnerable to their influence. At their worst,
they cause the disease that breaks down the homeostasis of the mind-body causing grave suffering to the victim.
1. “I lost myself and my purpose in life, and I became a victim, and eventually as sick as the abuser, by allowing myself to be pulled into an elaborate manipulation.”
... [31 more entries]
TWO AUTHORS' TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES OF THE PATHIC CHARACTER
The following two excerpts from published books are from the step-daughter of a famous movie actress, and from a famous 19th century playwright, Oscar Wilde. The former ex- cerpt relates how a pathic mother violently distorted the life of her step-daughter; and the second excerpt relates how a pathic friend/lover pathetically destroyed Oscar Wilde's life and career.
As a side note, the former excerpt highlights how all three pathic traits can run through one individual (self-aggrandizement, manipulative-control, and violent abuse); and the latter excerpt highlights how a sensitive soft-natured man of the highest caliber of intelligence and artistic genius can be so unremittingly captivated by another person despite knowing all the pitfalls – disastrous, as it turned out for him – involved in being with such a person.
No Safe Place
Cristina Crawford (daughter of former movie actress Joan Crawford)
No safe place. Nowhere to hide. No way to escape the terror. No one to tell. No one to go to for help.
Is this a war zone? A ghetto? A natural catastrophe? No, this is the violence of day-to-day family life in many American homes. It is how I myself lived as a child, a teenager, and even as a young adult.
I did not grow up in a poor or blighted environment. I was a blonde, white child, my adoptive parent was a placeHollywood movie star, and we lived in what many believed were luxurious surroundings. Still I carry deep and permanent scars from the violence of my childhood and developing years.
This was not violence from the outside world, from strangers or the streets, from gangs or mug- gers, but violence from those I, as a child, had been taught to love and trust, violence from those who were supposed to be safe and warm and filled with kindness but were not.
... [44 more entries]
From De Profundus (selections from an epistle to Alfred Lord Dougles)
If I write to you now as I do it is because your own silence and conduct during my long imprisonment have made it necessary.
I cannot reconstruct my letter, or rewrite it. You must take it as it stands, blotted in many places with tears, in some with the signs of passion or pain, and make it out as best you can, blots, corrections and all. As for the corrections and errata, I have made them in order that my words should be an absolute expression of my thoughts, and err neither through surplusage nor through being inade- quate. Language requires to be tuned, like a violin: and just as too many or too few vibrations in the voice of the singer or the trembling of the string will make the note false, so too much or too little in words will spoil the message. As it stands, at any rate, my letter has its definite meaning behind every phrase. There is in it nothing of rhetoric. Wherever there is erasion or substitution, however slight, however elaborrate, it is because I am seeking to render my real impression, to find for my mood its exact equivalent. Whatever is first in feeling comes always last in form.
I will admit that it is a severe letter. I have not spared you. Indeed you may say that, after admitting that to weigh you against the smallest of my sorrows, the meanest of my losses, would be really unfair to you, I have actually done so, and made scruple by scruple the most careful assay of your nature. That is true. But you must remember that you put yourself into the scales.
I saw quite clearly that my position in the world of Art, the interest my personality had always excited, my money, the luxury in which I lived, the thousand and one things that went to make up a life so charmingly, so wonderfully improbable as mine was, were, each and all of them, elements that fas- cinated you and made you cling to me: yet besides all this there was something more, some strange attraction for you: you loved me far better than you loved anybody else.
It did not occur to me…that you could have the supreme vice, shallowness.
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Against the Evil in Pathics
AGAINST EVIL IN GENERAL
Yes, it is possible to surmount, to protect oneself from, the evils facing us in one
way or another, but first we must un- derstand them, then have the courage to
face and challenge them. The former chapters in this book have contributed to the understanding of evil in general and in particular (the pathics); this chapter encour-
ages the reader to face and challenge them through the thoughts of eminent and perceptive persons.
The Book of Sirach (Ecclesiasticus)
1. Bring not every man into your house, for many are the snares of the crafty one; though he seem like a bird confined in a cage, yet like a spy he will pick out the weak spots.
2. The talebearer turns good into evil; with a spark he sets many coals afire.
3. The evil man lies in wait for blood, and plots against your choicest possessions.
There is some soul of goodness in
Would men observingly distil it out.
For our bad neighbour makes us early stirrers,
Which is both healthful and good husbandry:
Besides, they are our outward consciences,
And preachers to us all, admonishing
That we should dress us fairly for our end.
Thus may we gather honey from the weed,
And make a moral of the devil himself.
If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being, and who is willing to destroy his own heart?
George Bernard Shaw
If a man cannot look evil in the face without illusion, he will never know what it really is, or combat it effectually.
What's true of all the evils in the world is ... it helps men to rise above themselves.
7. The world is all the richer for having a devil in it, so long as we keep our foot upon his neck.
1. That a man is lying, we should pretend to believe him; for then he becomes bold and assured, lies more vigorously, and is unmasked.
1. Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the Overman – a rope over an abyss.
2. Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
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I can say with conviction that the struggle which evil necessitates is one of the greatest blessings. It makes us strong, patient, helpful men and women. It lets us into the soul of things and teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil, but on a glad belief in the preponderance of good and a willing effort always to cooperate with the good, that it may prevail.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
To ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it.
My doctrine is this, that if we see cruelty or wrong that we have the power to stop, and do nothing, we make ourselves sharers in the guilt.
We frail humans are at one time capable of the greatest good and, at the same time, capable of the greatest evil. Change will only come about when each of us takes up the daily struggle ourselves to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving, and above all joyful in the knowledge that, by some miracle of grace, we can change as those around us can change too.
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[In Particular: Courage]
Cowardice, as distinguished from panic, is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend the functioning of the imagination.
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
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You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I've lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Diane de Poitiers
Courage is as often the outcome of despair as of hope; in the one case we have nothing to lose, in the other everything to gain.
Mary Tyler Moore
Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
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AGAINST PATHICS IN PARTICULAR
This chapter carries further the purpose set forth in Chapter 15 in facing and protecting oneself from evil; but the target here is the evil specific to pathics.
Protective Suggestions Against Pathics in the Household
1. “To anyone feeling emotional and vulnerable and self-reflective…call a close friend. Visit a loved one you haven't seen in years. Write heart-felt letters to anyone who means anything to you…but don't give in and show remorse or regret over a narcissist. You'll only leave the encounter still hurting and they'll have their NS-fix for the week.”
2. “I can only say to those with doubts, with ideas of 'fixing it' – just don't. Move away and try to cut your losses. Why sit down to the table again to be dealt another bum hand?”
3. “Then, fool that I was, I tried to become a crusading Pollyanna, armed with books, clinical data, case histories - I valiantly tried to cure him; [but it was just] magical thinking. I gave up. It's useless and a total waste of my time when I needed to concentrate on getting me better and getting on with my life.”
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Protective Suggestions Against Pathics in the Workplace
1. “I also had psychopaths for bosses. I was struck by three excellent suggestions for dealing with them.
(1) Document, Document, Document! Find a way to use your PC to work for you so you don't get stuck doing double work. The witch I worked for tried to dump as much work as possible on me so I'd be too frazzled to contest her. I had the blessing of being
trained in PC software and light programming and my home PC and laptop (never trust the PCs on the job!) were my workhorses. Keep the laptop or PDA that you are using a complete secret, even from your friends! Secure your workspace by keeping your desktop clear - lock your desk every time you leave it. Whenever I was distracted away from my desk, her stooge had the opportunity to ransack it so I bought one of those $1.00 plastic wrist coil key chains that made it possible to lock my desk in a hot minute. Remove ALL personal information from your desk. These creeps will search your desk after hours - managers DO have the right to search your desk, locker and PC! Get in the habit of maintaining some kind of daily journal that accounts for the jobs you're working on and the time you took to work on them - even if you're working for the best boss in the world.
(2) Network – Enlist friends inside and outside your department. Friends outside your department aren't known by your psycho manager so they can help you store info in desks, lockers, etc. out of the reach of your spying saboteur of a boss. My working buddies let me use a desk on another floor to type my notes into my laptop on my lunch hour. They can keep you posted on job openings in other departments and serve as your eyes and ears. Your family and non-company friends can suggest and work on any legal avenues you may need in future. The suggestion to question your next employers about psychopaths is priceless! ...
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Toward the Ascendancy of Justice and wisdom
A PHILOSOPHY AGAINST MALICE:
1. Philosophy in its etymological root, means “love of wisdom.”
2. In which case, a philosophy against malice is “a love of wisdom” against malice; which in other words means the love of wisdom is for good to prevail over evil.
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11. This philosophy covers not only the dark side of our nature, but the light side as well; and it is the light side of our nature - our transcendence - that is our salvation, our hope, our redemption, our “resurrection,” so to speak, our glow.
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HARD-NATURES IN CONTRAST TO SOFT-NATURES
“I have a spotted Bengal cat who was named Muscle Man by my daughter when she
was a toddler, because even as a kitten he looked like a professional wrestler. Grown now,
he is much larger than most other domestic cats. His formidable claws resemble those of
his Asian leopard-cat ancestors, but by temperament, he is gentle and peace-loving. My
neighbor has a little calico who visits. Evidently the calico's predatory charisma is huge, and
she is brilliant at directing the evil eye at other cats. Whenever she is within fifty feet, Muscle
Man, all fifteen pounds of him to her seven, cringes and crouches in fear and feline deference.
Muscle Man is a splendid cat. He is warm and loving, and he is close to my heart.
Nonetheless, I would like to believe that some of his reactions are more primitive than mine. I hope I do not mistake fear for respect, because to do so would be to ensure my own victimization. Let us use our big human brains to overpower our animal tendency to bow to predators, so we can disentangle the reflexive confusion of anxiety and awe. In a perfect world, human respect would be an automatic reaction only to those who are strong, kind, and morally courageous. The person who profits from fright-ening you is not likely to be any of these.”
- Martha Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door
This chapter, and the last two chapters that follow, take a positive upswing to the good in men and women in opposition to pathic evil. This good is delineated through the con- cepts of love and wisdom, and descriptive of the type of persons who are receptive to the ways of these two concepts; namely, the soft-natured persons. Section 1 of this chapter explores, in outline mostly, this type of person in contrast to his opponent, the hard-natured individual. Section 2 explores the soft-natures exclusively; again, in outline mainly. Some of the remarks may seem as generalities without current scientific backing; but they are meant as exploratory, though meaningful, thoughts that others can debate, refute, or expand on.
HARD AS DISTINGUISHED FROM SOFT NATURES
1. Two concepts that are crucial in understanding the pathic character, and especially one's own character, as well – which is the main purpose of this chapter – are “hard” and “soft” natures. I name them “natures” insofar as individuals, I believe, are born either predominantly hard or predominantly soft; it is their nature, their particular physiological-psychological make-up (disposi- tion, temperament) to be one or the other, and all the variations thereof. These distinctions are crucial in understanding human nature inasmuch as hard-natured persons are disposed to pathic, predatory behavior in the extreme; whereas soft-natured individuals are disposed to neurotic, vic- timized behavior, in the extreme. And since this book has so far emphasized understanding pathic-predatory behavior against the victim, it is the purpose of this chapter, and the two other chapters that follow, to emphasize the victims' (as either potential or actual victim) perspective so as to understand and ward off predation.
As for the nature vs. nurture distinction, I opt for nature being the predominate factor that de-termines an individual's natural temperament, much as is witnessed with the higher animals that we are familiar with, such as cats and dogs. There is no way, other than chemically, that a cat or a dog that is born aggressively mean-spirited (hard-natured) or passively-gentle-spirited (soft-natured) can be essentially modified to its opposite. Yes, it's true that by abusive force (environment) a naturally aggressive, mean-spirited dog can be forced into submissive behavior; but it is his behavior that has been modified, not his nature; fear has modified the chemistry of his brain and glands so that he acts submissively under certain conditions. But fear cannot modify his genetic network that was invariably patterned upon conception. Similarly with a naturally soft-natured dog. It's hardly imaginable that under normal living conditions, that such a dog can be conditioned to be aggressive and/or vicious.
One other point in the fixed nature of animals, ...
2. Put simply, a hard-natured person is less impressionable than a soft-natured person; which means that social values and rules, concern for other people's feelings and rights do not make much of an imprint upon him/her as they do for soft-natures. Analogously, we might say that a soft-natured person is like warm wax in which a thumb impression goes deeply; whereas a hard-natured person is like cold wax in which little or no impression is possible. Of course, there are degrees of heat that make wax more or less impressionable; and the less heat applied to the wax the harder it is to make a thumb impression; in which case, we have t a hard-natured person in the extreme, as pathic; in -asmuch as a narcipath is not as hard-natured as a sociopath, nor a sociopath as hard- natured as a psychopath. ...
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SOFT NATURES IN PARTICULAR
1. Some basic inclinations –despite good or poor judgment of the fairly balanced soft-natured person:
Is inclined toward moral idealism – right, goodness, integrity, and the like
Is inclined to consider the better of people rather than the worst
Is inclined to be more on the defensive than on the offensive
Soft-Natures And Conscience
2. A guilty conscience: – That we don't do right by another person or others, or ourselves. It preys on us; and because of it, hard-natures prey upon it.
2:1 My mind tells me that something is wrong, and if I do it – or not do it – I will feel ashamed or remorseful, or guilty, or blameworthy.
2:2 I prefer not to hurt another's feelings; but when I do because of my self-will gone astray, I try to make amends.
Soft-natures and Love
2:12 As soft-natured persons are deeply and intensely, impressionable to human feelings and rela- tionships, it is understandable why they would be especially bonded to intimates (their spouses, lovers, children, parents, friends, extended family) as well as humanity as a whole. This bond can be considered the love that draws them to others; and so to do good for and by them, to alleviate their suffering, to embrace them. Love, then, in this human sense, can be considered an affectionate bond of compassionate unity.
Soft-natures and Neurosis (a continued extension, from section 1)
3. Neurosis: “any of various mental or emotional disorders, such as hypochondria, arising from no apparent organic lesion and involving symptoms such as anxiety and depression.” (American Heritage Dictionary)
Basic Characteristics of Soft-natures
5. The following catalogue is a spectrum of characteristics natural and habitual to soft-natures, on the whole. These characteristics are dia- metrically opposed to the characteristics of hard-natures as shown in chapter three. Let these be a stronghold against those.
accommodating - affable - affectionate - agreeable - amorous - amenable - amicable - bashful - benevolent - broad-minded - brotherly - candid - caring - charitable - cheerful - childlike - companionable - compassionate - conciliatory - congenial - conscionable - considerate - convivial - courteous - decorous - devoted - docile - domestic - dutiful - easygoing - empathetic - fair-minded - faithful - forgiving - forthright - generous - gentle - genuine - good-hearted - good-natured - gracious - guileless - grateful - high-minded - honest - honorable - humble - impartial - incorruptible - ingenuous - just - kindhearted - loving - loyal - modest - moral - noble - nurturing - open-handed - openhearted - open-minded - optimistic
- patient - peaceful - polite - principled - high-principled - remorseful - reserved - respectful - responsible - right-minded - scrupulous - self-controlled - sensitive - sentimental - shy - softhearted - sympathetic - sweet - thankful - thoughtful - timid - transcendent - truthful - trustworthy - understanding - upfront - upright - virtuous - warm-hearted - wise
THAT GOOD MAY PREVAIL OVER EVIL
1. Having read the previous chapter, the soft-natured reader is most likely more familiar with the range of his particular characteristics in contrast to those of the hard-natures. The next step is to apply that knowledge as a wisdom in defense of his psychological well-being when threatened by a pathic intrusion. A strategy is needed, a strategy in keeping with the integrity of one's character – soft-natured, in this case. Morality (doing the right, just, thing) must be part of this strategy; but not in a narrow sense of a situation being right or wrong, good or bad; but rather right and wrong, good and bad.
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THAT GOOD MAY PREVAIL OVER EVIL
A Fictional Dialogue
Sharon. Having read all your material on wisdom and love and meaning and self-freedom, and on your human-transcendent wisdom in particular, I still fail to see how it all can successfully and consistent- ly combat evil; or how it will ever take the ascendancy over it, as you have so confidently asserted elsewhere. As I see it, the cards are too stacked up against you.
Joseph. Maybe so, if it is just a matter of “combating” evil; but the wisdom of human-transcendence – that is, the balance between our transcendence and our humanness – is not about combating evil, but about surpassing it.
Sharon. What do you mean by “surpassing” evil?
Joseph. Human-transcendence leaves evil as it is; it simply goes beyond it; that is, it transcends, evil's limitations and propensities.
S. And how does human-transcendence propose to do that?
J. By beating evil at its own game, so to speak.
S. You mean learn to be evil so that you can be more evil than the evil one himself? Like a game? A play?
J. Not exactly; rather by good learning evil's ways; then disguising itself as evil intent – not evil in action – without suspicion, then infiltrating it; and finally flushing it out, exposing it, and having it slink away, tail between its legs, or eliminating it if necessary in the given situation. Good can no longer be on the defensive against evil if it is to surpass it; but has to take the offensive; but an offensive not obvious to evil.
S. And how would good take this offensive?
J. By being sly, in a word.
S. But, normally we associate “sly” with evil – that is, undermining with unjust intent – rather than good.
J. Right. And that's what I mean by playing and beating evil at its own game.
S. Well that sounds all very well in theory; but I think a person would have to be fairly wise to be sly for the sake of good; and you know how rare a person that is.
THE PLAY'S THE THING
1. Having determined that love (as the bond of unity) and wisdom (human-transcendence) are inclu- sive of a philosophy against malice (auroralism), we have next to apply this Love / wisdom paradigm to the practical affairs of dealing effectively and consistently with the pathic individual. Accordingly, we must employ a tactic, a course of action, that works in our favor instead of in theirs.
2. This course of action requires that we relax our moral strictures that we normally live by so that good and justice prevail over pathics' abusive agenda. In which case, we must feign sincerity, feign concern, feign moods – as they do; we must lie, fabricate, manipulate – as they do. Our prime inten- tion and goal, however, is not to use or abuse pathics, but to thwart them from using and abusing us. Better they're hurt or harmed than we are, so long as it is a matter of either them or us with no other choice.
3. This course of action against malice I call, assertive-passive resistance; that is: now resist passively, then assertively, or now resist assertively then passively, depending upon what the pathic and/or situation calls for. In either case, we are asserting our rights and our integrity.
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The following notes start off in the usual advice-to-the-reader pattern, but then unexpectedly (for the author) veers off into the concept of playacting; which in hindsight, proves to be the perfect platform in opposition to the pathics, since they themselves are the consummate play-actors among us. In which case, we soft-natured individuals learn to play their own game, if not as well as them, then surely as protective of us.
“Perhaps one never seems so much at ease as when one has to play a part.”
- Oscar Wilde
THE PLAY'S THE THING
Assertive-Passive Resistance against the Pathic
by the Author
1. Be civil to them, but subtly remote.
2. Be polite to them, but in passing.
3. Be courteous to them, but busily.
4. No looking at them except momentarily to be civil, polite, or courteous.
5. No replies to them except what they want to hear.
6. No comments to them that reveal your true feelings, beliefs, or values.
7. Listen agreeably to what they say; like, “That's very interesting,” etc..
8. Act as though you're ignorant of the topic they're discussing; like: “I'm not sure I understand what you mean; can you explain it.” Etc..
9. Don't be concerned about being aloof – you're in your own thoughts; you're very busy, no time to talk … and the like.
10. Hold your anger in check; they feed on it.
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A SUBPLOT: THE PATHIC SIBLING IN THE FAMILY
The following note-like, “stream of conscience,” thoughts fairly much answer my troubled concern for all the poor unfortunate soft-natured children who are subject to, victims of, their hard-natured siblings. That answer is mainly in the lap of parents: parents who fairly much understand the pathic character and their ways, and can articulate and deal with them in defense of both themselves and their other children.
The pathic in your life is in your household; he's your child against his/her sibling.
You live in the day-to-day proximity of his wretchedness.
But now you know his ways and means of hurting, harming, and disrupting.
Armed with this knowledge, how do you protect your child from his sibling out to hurt and harm him?
Forget the family “blood is thicker than water” cliché with the hard-natured child. She certainly forgets it against you.
Such hard-natures may be family in blood, but they certainly are not family in love. And love, in all its variant expressions, is everything, is it not that holds people together, families together?
No love comes from her except her love of hurting and harming and disrupting her sibling – "Love to see you squirm! Love to see your feelings hurt! Love to see you cry! Love to see you caught!"
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In closing this bleakly disturbing, yet hopefully encouraging, book, I have these few forward-looking words to add. But first: Yes, the pathics are with us for good; and yes, there will always be their victims to exploit; and yes, they will always add to the pool of sorrow and suffering upon man- kind, and always pollute and infect the innocent and unwary. So much, then, for the “bleakly, disturb- ing” side of the human condition – its dark side. What of the “hopefully, encouraging” side of the human condition – its bright side?
The underlying theme of this book: that justice and wisdom take the ascendancy over injustice and ignorance, serves as a preface to the conscious transformation occurring in our times and leading to the gradual ascendancy of justice and wisdom over injustice and ignorance. This conscious trans- formation is further explored and studied in my forthcoming book, Human-Transcendence: Of Love and Wisdom.
With the publication of these two related books, I will have completed my major contribution to this conscious transformation. What more is needed is to transfer words into action – into a move- ment, or more to the point: a quest, against injustice and ignorance.
Research it; it is all about us. Reflect upon it; it is within us. Let it happen; live your share.
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